Thursday, December 25, 2014

dear YOU

Posted by cahayaberbisikan at 10:46 PM 0 comments
tik tok, tik tok, tik tok 
the clock ticking unstoppable.. yes, in reality u may stop the clock from ticking by removing the battery but did u realize that for the REAL one, it is unstoppable..
u gonna have pass through what had chosen for u,
ALLAH,the almighty who keep monitoring all over the world,
HE never left us aside,
in the sorrow, sadness, happiness,
HE never hurt u..

previously, i never thought that i could reach this level. never thought that i'll be one of them further the study at the university, living in the "all in one" environment.. full of joyous, sadness sometime. NO! i never thought i could reach it.. how time flies so fast, soon i'm gonna be 23 and for the next 3 years maybe i will be someone's wife and a mother to my cute junior of me and husband..

i never know who is my right man?? honestly saying that first love is hard to forget and hard to be accepted that we are not meant to be together.. 6 years relationship ended with nothing. but as the time passed by, i had learned something that " whatever u thought u had planned the best, HE had planned the better for u afterward" i keep on saying this repeatedly to myself every time and everyday whenever i feel hurt deep inside my heart. soon, i "recover" from those kind of feeling and could accepted it. 

with YOU, 
i hope that the "relationship" will end with something sweet in my life. people may keep saying that u're "nothing" but i can see "something" hidden in yourself. something that can't be described by word and the one whom feel it. 

Dear YOU,
i hope that u'll always take a good care of yourself,
i hope that u'll be the one which will be my imam,
i hope that u'll be the one which will guide my through the life to be a better person as well as a good wife in  the future.

i may not know what the future will be,
but i hope that u'll the one in my future,
distance separates us but the distance too tighten us in dhu'a,
"please take care of your heart"

Monday, December 22, 2014

masih kurang..

Posted by cahayaberbisikan at 9:13 PM 0 comments
     mungkin, masa aku tulis entry ni aku dalam mood yang bercampur aduk..dont know how exactly i feel & dont even know how to describe it...apa yang aku rasa saat ni ialah diri aku ni sangat useless..iam so sorry..sampai saat umur aku hampir menginjak 23tahun, masih takde satu benda pun yang mampu aku banggakan hasil usaha sendiri.. kalau orang lain, mungkin umur macam aku ni dah ada kereta sendiri, pekerjaan yang tetap..tapi aku???? ijazah pun belum lepas lagi nak dapat.. masih terkial-kial pi kelas, buat assignment pun loqlaq-loqlaq..entahla.. 

      being a second daughter of family is not something so awesome..but i'm glad & thankful for everything i had all this while..well said, i just have a sister that already get married.. automatically, i'll the one whom my family hope for gaining a better life,future..macam pak dengan mak lain la, kalau sorg anak dah kahwin, mestila diorang harap anak diorang yang sorang lagi tu mampu walaupun tak banyak tapi at least boleh repay diorang balik.. well, aku sebagai anak pun memang ada perasaan yang sama, yela takkan nak senang sorang-sorang plak lepas dah berjaya ada ijazah and kerja bagai.. tapi aku tahu,

aku anak yang banyak menitiskan keringat mereka,
masih kurang jasa aku terhadap mereka,
aku anak yang banyak menyusahkan mereka,
masih kurang yang aku beri kepada mereka,
aku anak yang mungkin kurang dalam tutur kata,
masih kurang kemaafan darinya,

saat ada yang menuding jari kepadaku,
aku sedar kerdilnya aku,
tanpa ada seorang yang cuba memahami,
tanpa ada seorang yang cuba mendengar cerita,
tanpa ada seorang yang cuba berkongsi rasa,
masih kurang dalam semuanya.

aku manusia biasa cuma,
aku manusia terkadang kecewa,
aku manusia biasa yang punya rasa dihati,
masih kurang SEMUANYA,
aku sedar itu..



Saturday, December 13, 2014

as time pass by, people change!

Posted by cahayaberbisikan at 3:01 AM 0 comments
     hmmmm, feel a lil bit relieve right now.. i'm just done with my fyp1 presentation.. a good knowledge gain as well as get a giveaway been "trolling" by my panel.. good experience huh??? hahahaha..personally i feel that it is good being trolling by someone instead of being bash by someone.. coz, i think if someone are bashing u, this might gonna make u loss yr confidence or in simple word, u loss yr mood to speak at all.. because all yr negative aura had been take place in yr body..lalalalala... well, just another one week to go before, the study week for my 1st semester of 4th year begin.. but, there still mountain liked assignment and project need to be done..otherwise, yr carry mark will get effect lol...huaaaaaaaa..admit that, im not perform so well in my test for each of the subject for the semester, but still i'll try my best for the last test2 for the artificial intelligence this sunday.."last kopek maaa"

      okkk,sto speaking london.. eden ni tak teror mana pun..saja2 menggedik speaking london jemahhh oiii.. ok, nak dijadikan cerita tadi, kiah ni pergi la makan dengan eton..sambil jalan2 kai otw nk pogi kedai makan tu sembang-sembang kosongla..pompuan kan?? biase la alau dok potpet2 24jam.. melainkan time tdo jela, senyap semeta...pumpang-pumpang tu, terbuka cerita time sebelum masuk u, masa zaman2 matrik and zaman sememeh time sekolah dolu-dolu...hahahaha.. mula-mula dok la cerita pasal panel troll kitorg msg2..lepastu, eton pun kata la, "kalau ada title, engr xtau la nk buat apa?? kje apa la agaknya..engineering bukan passion a**" apelagi, gelak sakanla time makan tu..maaf la kome semua ye..kiah dgn eton becok time makan.. tapi tula, its the way we share everything.. aku pun sambungla "n**** plak, agaknya ada title engr. kt depan nama tapi nanti kerja sbgai chef je kt sukasucre bistro..pastu kt card name word engr. tu kecik gila" utk pengetahuan kome-kome semua, kiah ni memang berimpian besar la sangat dapt jadi anak didik dato' fazley yaakob tu.. i adore his skill and talent so muchhhh.. sampai dengan sv aku sendiri pun aku dok excited bercerita.. aku memang suka bab2 masak ni especially baking2 ni la..masak lauk berat tu errrrr, bolehlaaa sikit2..

        pastu xtau la cam mana aku boleh terbuka cerita pasal 1st interview time lepas spm dlu...hahahahaha..ingat balik je, memang macam tak percaya sungguh yang tu aku...ceehhhhh ayat, tak menahan... aku memang sebelum ni zero la bab2 kena interview ni.. senang kata,semua dokumen nak pi interview tu pun mmg 100% mak aku yg sediakan.. hahahah,,teruk beno perangai teman kan kome?? oh, lupa n bgtau apa nama tempat kawan pi interview tu.. sebenonya kawan memang bercita2 besarla nak jadi doktor tak pun pharmacist.. teman pi interview utk intake pharmacist pnye course offer by KPJ college. hahahaha, sabo najwa..tahan gelak dulu...

        u all nk tau, i jadi first org yg kena interview, mak aihhhh sape je yg tak cuak kn??? experience memang OUT..ZEROOOO.. tapi sebelum tu, memang diorg ada provide pamplet tentang bidang2 yg kita pilih tu la.. aku ada la dapat 2,3helai pamplet bkaitan bidang aku tu.. tapi memang tak masuk langsung pun apa yang aku baca, yang hnye aku tertarik semestinya gmbr dia yg warne warni mcm riang ria hari raya tu..hhahaha..ok, masuk part interview session dalam bilik tu:

   situasi: 2org panel..sorg lelaki ada misai and sorg perempuan cina tua sikit dh..i pun confidentla pi dduk kt kerusi bos2 tu sbb diorg suruh beb..sambil tu automatikla aku spinning the chair kiri& kanan ikut sesuka hati sesedap rasa aku...

sir: hai, salam & gd morning nur najwa..H, SO, THIS IS YR 1ST INTERVIEW SESSION?
ME: yes + senyum mua innocent
mdm: so, najwa, where are u come from? and tell us why u choose to be the part of the kpj college? looking at your trial result, quite good.
me: grind, im' from muar, johor..hmmm, because i wanna gain some knowledge.(jawapan poyo gila)
sir: (serious face) hm, but yr trial is quite good like mdm(err,aku lpa plak nama dia) said. and what say if u are being offered a better choice to further yr study??
me: i dont think that there will be another option for me, my trial is not so good like others and im prefer to join the KPJ college if i get the opportunity.
sir: tell me about u and yr background briefly.
me: pumpang-pumpang...bla...bla...bla...
mdm: what do yo understand with pharmacy??
me: pharmacy is mainly about the medicine.. for example, the pill is a medicine..it has colourful colour....bla..bla..bla.. eg, panadol are in white colour, period pain are in the pink colour..
:
:
:
:
sir&mdm: both grinding and laugh at me...
me:????????

nak dijadikan cerita, aku memang daoat betul tapi, tula org kata, allah dah tentukan yang lebih baik untuk aku..yela, offer tu betul2 sampai dan2 aku hari yang sama lepas aku daftar matrikulasi(10 mei 2010)
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lani, aku pun dah hampir selamat menempuh tahun 4 semester1...insyaallah, another one semester to go..harap takde pape paper yang sangkut la..ameen..
iam final year 1st semester student, taraaaa..eyebag dah berkilo-kila, tdo pun dah ke mana, makan pun ntah ke mana.. time ni memang aku tak tdo langsung dok prepare fyp1 punye task la.. thanks a lot my beloved sv, engr.norfaiza(soon to be dr. title) for guiding me and us.. i love u!


candid by aen
senyummmmm..23-to-be


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